Oscars 2014 Celebrity SWAG Bags: Nominees To Receive $80,000 Worth of Products

While a select group will take home those coveted gold statues at the Oscars on Sunday, March 2, some of the losers will at least have their $80,000 "Everyone Wins at the Oscars" gift bags.

Every year some Oscar nominee remarks they don't care about winning, it's an honor just to be nominated. Yeah, right. Then again, getting nominated does guarantee one prize, a prize package valued at roughly $80,000. (By contrast, the Oscar statuette costs about $400 to make, according to CBS Moneywatch.)

For the 15th year, Los Angeles marketing firm Distinctive Assets will once again create swag bags for this year's acting and directing nominees in the Best Actor/Actress, Supporting Actor/Actress, and Director categories.

Among the goodies in the swag bag:

Hydroxycut Gummies, Swiss-made Slow watches, Vetvik luxury leather iPhone cases, Le Petit Cirque aerial lessons, a Steamist Total Sense Spa System, Epic Pet Health electrolyte therapy, Max Martin shoes and vacation packages to either the Canadian Rockies, Hawaii, Mexico or Japan.

This is also one gift that keeps on giving. Halo Pet Foundation, whose board members include Oscar host Ellen DeGeneres, has partnered with Freekibble.com and is asking gift bag recipients to donate 10,000 meals of Halo pet food to the shelter of their choice. How's that for a pet project?

Weird Procedures, $18,070

Value: $2,700

A procedure aimed at enhancing sexual response and increasing libido made its way into the swag bag.

Celebs will receive the O-Shot procedure, which supposedly "rejuvenates and enhances the genital tissue of a woman." The $2,700 procedure is said to enhance sexual response and slow urinary incontinence.

For the gents (and some ladies): hair restoration surgery using ARTAS Robotic Hair Transplant system ($16,000) is also offered.

Nominees will never have to yell, "Where's my security team again," thanks to this set of Mace Pepper Guns. It comes in hot pink for her and camouflage for him.

Weight Loss Products, $949

You can never be too famous, too rich or too skinny, as the Hollywood saying goes. This year's swag bag helps with at least one of those. Stars will get Hydroxycut gummies, protein bars and shakes.

As stars famously slim down for awards shows, the gift bag includes 10 personal training sessions with Huntley Drive Fitness ($850), portion-conscious dinnerware from Slimware ($59), and Hydroxycut gummies, protein bars, and shakes ($40).

A Train Trek through the Rocky Mountains, $6,850

How does a 5-night stay in a two-bedroom villa in Kauai sound? Or a 2,500 square-foot suite in Mexico? A two-day ride on an overnight Rocky Mountaineer train through Western Canada, or a $15,000 walking tour of Japan?

Recipients will receive a two-day rail journey on the Rocky Mountaineer luxury train, which travels through Western Canada. Their journey will start with an overnight stay in Vancouver, then the train will travel past waterfalls, endless forests, still lakes, and other scenic spots until it arrives at its destination, a resort town in the Canadian Rockies.

Maple Syrup -- and a Maple Tree!

Rouge Maple

Celebs will receive $280 worth of pure organic maple syrup, salad dressings, jellies, mustard, and an apron. But that's not all! Each star will receive an adoption certificate of a maple tree in Notre-Dame-Des-Bois. Cost? Invaluable.

A Walk through Japan and the Best of Vegas, $24,000
Explorers will have the chance to tour and discover the authentic, non-touristy side of Japan by foot from Walk Japan ($15,000). Celebs will also have the chance to live it up through the Best of Las Vegas offering ($9,000), which includes a face-to-face meeting with Boyz II Men.

Steamist Total Sense Home Spa System
Let's face it: Between press tours, dress fittings and exhausting exercise regimes, awards season is stressful. Nominees can de-stress with a customizable collection of spa amenities for their showers, including steam and aromatherapy, while listening to tunes on their wireless shower audio.

Home Systems, $7,455

Thirsty? Nominees are getting a whole house water filtration system this year.

Water therapy for the stars and their homes! Nominees will receive the Steamist Total Sense Home Spa System ($2,560), which includes shower amenities like aromatherapy, wireless in-shower audio, and more, in addition to Krystal Klear Water's whole house water filtration system ($4,895).

Resort and Villa Stays, $5,300

Celebs will receive resort stays at the Imanta resort in Ocean Casa ($3,300) and a 5-night stay in a luxury villa at the Koloa landing resort in Kauai ($2,000).

Pet Products, $7,706

Life as a celebrity pet is tough, jetting from one set to another or being jostled around in a Louis Vuitton bag.

Epic Pet Health is offering stars its electrolyte pet therapy, complete with a year's supply of pet supplements ($1,591). Stars will also receive Simon's Happy Pet Shampoo ($15).

And finally:

The swag bag will also have a $10,000 meal donation of Ellen DeGeneres' natural pet food, Halo Spot's Stew. Nominees will be able to donate the meals to an animal shelter of their choice.

Freekibble.com, will give a 10,000-meal donation to the shelter of each celebrity's choice ($6,100).

Vetvik leather case

Rubber and plastic iPhone cases scream D-list, which is why Oscar nominees are being gifted these iPhone cases crafted from French and Italian leather. Made by Vetvik, the cases are worth about what an iPhone 5 with a contract retails for.

And these are just the highlights!

Other treats for the 2014 Oscar Nom's include: